Aging Gracefully: 9 Goals To Help Me Age Well

Aging gracefully seems the very essence of chic – and the opposite of the desperate grasping at youth that is everywhere and tempts us all. Should we succumb to the pressures to look younger, to get on the treadmill of treatments, or is there a way to age well and be happy with what we see in the mirror as years go by?

Aging gracefully means being a woman ‘of a certain age’

The French, the originators of ‘chic’, do not say a woman is ‘middle-aged’ or ‘older’ or ‘elderly’. Once she is beyond youth, she enters and remains in the nebulous and intriguing age bracket: ‘a woman of a certain age’.

Isn’t this is a charming turn of phrase? Une femme d’un certain âge. So typical of a culture that prefers mystique to over-sharing, a culture where manners matter. And also, if you like French films, notice it’s a culture where the actresses d’un certain âge have their wrinkles, yet their confidence and allure make them even more beautiful.

‘A certain age’ suggests more than the passage of time; it evokes a sense of experience, of earned wisdom, of knowing.

As you move beyond youth, consider taking this attitude, if not this phrase, with you.

Aging gracefully means subverting expectations

I look young for my age and used to delight in broadcasting how old I was, then basking in people’s compliments. I’d find some reason to mention my age at cosmetics counters or when picking up a book at the library or while having my torn meniscus treated by the physiotherapist. It felt good!

But as I got older, and the number kept climbing, it felt increasingly uncomfortable. I could see people reevaluating me, recalibrating based on the number. Did they expect less of me now? Did they see me differently?

These days I don’t mention my age at all. Not out of secrecy or embarrassment, but because I like not feeling defined or limited, either by other people or by my own stereotypes (I can be terribly judgmental). I enjoy discovering what I’m capable of and who I am – the bad and the good – by experimentation, from the inside out. Regardless of arbitrary numbers or what’s typical or expected.

I’m aware of my eyesight worsening each year, of more greys peeking through, of my skin changing. Yet I’m also getting stronger and more flexible, cultivating greater inner peace, and finding new excitement in my work.

So I no longer aspire to be anything ‘for my age’. Not young-looking or fit or inappropriately fond of the color pink.

Aging gracefully means choosing your focus

Instead, I’m choosing to embrace the experience, earned wisdom, and knowing that comes with being une femme d’un certain âge.

Here are the goals I’m focusing on – perhaps they might inspire you to choose your own goals for aging gracefully, aging well:

1. Take excellent care of my skin
2. Dress well, always, and according to my signature style
3. Make it an ongoing priority to stay as fit and healthy as I can
4. Aim for a strong core and excellent posture
5. Stretch often so I become more (not less) flexible over time
6. Do work that matters to me and expresses my unique perspective
7. Practice physical and psychological self-care
8. Embrace simplicity and minimalism
9. Be kind and compassionate to myself and others.

If I think about these goals rather than a number I cannot reverse or changes I cannot stop, then I can relax, knowing I’m doing my best to age gracefully. Regardless of my age.

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