Phone Addiction: 4 Ways To Break Up With Your Phone

Have you noticed how a phone addiction looks a lot like a codependent relationship? We tend to:

• Ignore who we’re with and what we’re doing as soon as they summon us
• Constantly check in – has something new happened?
• Chase their attention
• Act insecure and desperate – seeking constant validation
• Say we want to be more independent, then fall into old habits
• Sleep with them – even though we know we shouldn’t
• Lose self-respect…

When we have a phone addiction, we reach for our devices out of habit and compulsion, not deliberate choice or true desire. It doesn’t make us peaceful or happy. It’s not good self-care. And it’s not chic.

I used to have a phone addiction; I’ve also been in the odd dysfunctional relationship in real life (this has probably never happened to you), so I’ve learned from hard-won experience how you can escape the toxicity and break up with your phone.

Here are 4 strategies that helped.

1. To avoid phone addiction, stop looking for external validation

It’s human nature to doubt ourselves and crave reassurance. Few of us enjoy supreme self-confidence, so we seek ways to bolster our existential uncertainty. Which is why our phones are so addictive: they offer the temporary high of likes, the comforting escapism of scrolling, the thrill of something to feel superior about.

But the first step if you want to break up with your phone is to realize these are unhealthy forms of emotional sustenance. Today the detrimental effect on mental health is affecting how social platforms operate and leading some popular accounts to turn off comments.

Nor are these forms of emotional junk food sustainable – you can’t get filled up, you’re always looking for the next hit, it’s never enough.

Placing your psychological needs in the hands of your phone is neither chic nor healthy. Only you can give yourself the validation you seek.

2. Do a digital detox and set boundaries

There are many actions you can take to break the hold of your phone addiction. You could:

• Turn off notifications
• Remove apps that tempt you into dysfunctional habits – such as stalking exes or hate-following
• Keep your phone in your bag when you’re out with friends
• Leave the phone another room when you’re relaxing at night with a book or TV show.

You can also put limits around the times you use your phone. For example:

• Allow yourself to scroll Instagram before you head back to work after lunch
• Limit texting with friends to your commute time
• Give up games that leave you feeling empty after you’ve played them.

Being manipulated by your phone robs you of freedom, grace, and poise. Instead, stand on your own two feet. Hold your head high.

3. Don’t sleep together if you want to break up with your phone

Having your phone by your bed is like being 100% available for every booty call. It undermines your self respect.

Instead, leave your phone in another room and use an alarm clock to wake you. This also stops you from obsessively checking in as soon as you wake up.

If you want your phone by your bed for healthy reasons that leave you feeling good – such as reading, meditation, or music apps – then make a habit of switching to flight mode as you enter your bedroom at night.

Chic women choose their sleeping partners with care. Follow their lead.

4. Focus on other chic priorities

All the time and attention that has been sucked into the vortex of your phone? Prepare to have it at your disposal. What will you do with it?

You could throw yourself into work and get promoted. Start a hobby you’ve always been interested in. Get more exercise. Declutter your home. Spend time with favorite people. Upgrade your personal style.

You might be surprised by how much energy you liberate when you break up with your phone. I know I was.

Only you know if you have a phone addiction…

Not every person-phone relationship is noxious. I get pleasure and benefit every day from my apps for learning, the library, art, business, connecting with friends, listening to music, following inspiring and beautiful accounts on Instagram and yes sometimes wasting time on social media. But it wasn’t always so – before I broke up with my phone, I was guilty of every bad habit in the list at the start of this post.

Today, overall, our relationship is healthy – when I pick up my phone it’s a proactive choice, not compulsive checking; I have boundaries in place so my real life comes first; and we never sleep together.

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Only you know if your relationship with your phone is toxic. If it is, then it may be time to break up with your phone, set boundaries, and just be friends.